3 Bad Boundaries That Took Control Of Me

Posted by Jennifer Mccray on

When we talk about setting boundaries in our life, What do you think about? For me it depends on what aspect we are talking about. So for this blog I will be talking about how I let bad boundaries get in the way of me achieving some of my goals. Let's go into the definition of boundaries when it is pertaining to our life.

According to boundaries can be defined as the physical, emotional, and mental limits we establish to protect ourselves from being manipulated, used, or violated by others. To set boundaries means to preserve your integrity, take responsibility for who you are, and to take control of your life.

With boundaries it can be attached to ourselves, relationships with a significant other, friends, family, co-workers, and even strangers. In life I believe that there are healthy boundaries, and bad boundaries. Healthy boundaries for yourself could be knowing when to say no to others, putting yourself first, and protecting your peace of course it's a ton of healthy boundaries I just wanted wanted to give a few.

Now when it came to fear, low-confidence in myself, not knowing where to start, and worried about what others thought I looked at that as bad boundaries in my life, because those bad boundaries came into play when it I started working towards reaching my fullest potential in life. Those things stopped me for years, I have always wanted to start my own T-Shirt brand but in all honesty I was terrified. Just the thought of starting something new would have my heart beating fast, and sweaty palms.

I would do the research and get started a little bit but once I began to think about everything and how hard it was going to be, I would psych myself out of getting things done, and just quit. Where you are mentally definitely plays a part, I just didn't have the right mindset at that time then I would start to question myself on everything in a negative way. The more I did that the more I got further, and further away from my goals, then I would let that defeat me and just quit.

Fear can keep you from doing a lot of things in life, it also can become a phobia for a lot of people. The way that I kept fear from stopping me was I just got tired of living my life the same way, letting the same things take control of me. I finally got the courage to tell myself that I was in control and no one else. Of course it started with changing my mindset and eventually everything started coming together, but I still I had to do the work and implement that in my life.

Not knowing where to start wasn't good for me I know a lot of people go through this especially when you are starting something new. My plan was set in my head and I always thought that you have to have everything perfect. Nothing in life is perfect, and a lot of times I found myself trying to do just that, but in reality the longer we wait it's a possibility that we might not start at all. I just took a chance because my mindset was What's the worst that can happen? All I know is that you just have to start, and know your why and the purpose of whatever you are trying to do.

Low-confidence in myself played a part also, I'm not ashamed to admit that at times my confidence was low, and I would downplay myself like I wasn't good enough or deserving enough to build a better life for myself. So I know I had to work on myself from the inside I began to speak positive affirmations to myself, if I thought of something negative I would stop and correct myself and replace that thought with something positive, I would acknowledge my greatness, and listening to Eric Thomas motivational speeches helped me a lot also. I believe that there is a time in everyone life where they have experienced low-confidence in themselves, we just have to dig deep and work at it everyday.

 In closing there a lot of bad boundaries that we put on ourselves that can stop us from reaching our fullest potential in life, but we have to acknowledge those things, and work towards taking control of our lives. If there is something in life that we want to achieve we just have to go for it scared and all. Trust me you can get it done, and be successful at it, just work, work, work, towards it everyday and you will see how things will start changing for the better.


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